Why I Do What I Do.... Wait, Why Do I Do What I Do?

This week has been one of those weeks that I like to call: Foundational. In Proverbs 14:1 the Bible says, "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Well, I have an imagination and I like to think about my "daily grind" as a building project. Some days I may be watching kids play pleasantly and giving some positive affirmation here and there. These are painting days (because I like painting). Some times, my days are consumed with breaking up fights, scolding and correcting. This is like putting up walls to me! Anyway, you get my point.
Some times, I have these really tedious weeks of learning and implementing new things. You know, the weeks you sit at the computer for 30 hours doing research while your kids are tearing the place up. The kind of week where your hand is stuck in a permanent writing position because you used it so much to record information. These are the weeks I call- Foundational. Maybe I'm laying down the foundation for a new laundry room........... (Okay, I know that was corny!)
Back to the point, I have been working on our first, official year of school's lesson plans (Try to say that 3 times fast!). Boy, if you had told me when I was in first grade that my teachers worked harder than I did I would have never believed you! This week alone, I have spent over 20 hours just researching for this year. It's a big job, just like everything else about being a mother is a big job.
Why do I do it then? My answer may vary from day to day, but one thing is for sure. I do it because I love my little Munchigans! I love them dirt, snot, poop and all!!! I do not expect to get anything back for what I do. I do not expect to get praised. I don't expect recognition or any reward (although it is rewarding). My motivation is that Gideon, Gabriel and Nathaniel Rylander grow to be God fearing, independent, strong and hard working men each with their own unique personality that has been nurtured and cared for.
I guess tonight as I was going on hour five of trying to get the school and play rooms back in order, I realized that these kids are not "MY" kids. They do not owe me anything. I simply get to borrow them for a little while and do my best to instill in them what they need to start out on the right foot as adults. I was surprised that this thought didn't sadden me; instead it made me realize how much I really love them! I love being a mom!

A New, Fresh Morning

As I woke this morning and began trying to plan for the day, a thought came to me: "Goals are great, but I really have no clue what the day will hold today." My list of things to get done today is so long that I wouldn't be able to accomplish it in a week even if I didn't have a 1 month old who is exclusively breastfed and doesn't like me to be out of his sight as well as a 2 and 4 year old who are currently in "destructo" mode. The house is a mess, groceries are calling to be put away, food needs prepared, gardens weeded, laundry piling up, and children need attention, love and direction. All of this calls to me every moment of the day and screams for my constant attention. Where should I start and which path should I pick to walk down today? I am feeling overwhelmed!
This week I've been hearing a lot about how stressful life seems to be. As a homemaker, wife and mother I feel like I have more than my share of stress to get me through each day. Trying to keep up with housework, boys and having some semblance of a relationship with my husband often takes every ounce of energy out of me... and that's before breakfast! (smiling) How do we make it?
As I started my day today, the familiar voices of uncertainty and self-criticism began to flood my thoughts. "You'll never get it under control, why even try!" "Why is life so overwhelming for me? What's wrong with me?" "Why don't I get help?" "Why can't I keep up with my kids," ETC... What is it about doing the best job in the world... the thing I love doing the most that is so hard every day? Why does every day seem to be a battle that I'm tired of fighting?
There are so many remedies out there for "streamlining" things and making our homes "effective." There are so many rules, objectives and expectations that sometimes we feel like we're drowning! It's time for it to stop! It's time for us to realize that running and organizing our homes is nothing like a project deadline. It is not something that we accomplish or fail at. It is a way that we live. It is something we DO every day! It is a process and a joy like no other. If I can not relax or enjoy life in my home at least some each day, where else can I enjoy life?
There is no secret or special answer to this seeming dilema, but for me it seems to lie in the area of attitudes and habits. This is what this blog is all about! I would like to share my journey, no, my adventure as a mother complete with the good days and the bad. I'd like to share my efforts to seek the Lord and get His wisdom for each day and His insight into which pursuits I need to make to keep my "workplace" running at an even keel. I would like to share my joys about being a mother as well as my miserable failures. I know that this blog is not the answer to YOUR dilema, or even inspiration for your adventure, but I hope that by reading it, you'll gain insight, perspective and maybe an occasional recipe or two (wink)!
I sure hope you all enjoy!